How Overparenting Affects Kids by M.M

How Overparenting Affects Kids

Overparenting can negatively impact a kid’s future. While you may think that you are just being a loving parent who simply “protects” your children, you may actually be doing them harm. LET THEM GO! Kids need to live their lives and make mistakes! That’s the best way for them to learn. Being a helicopter parent can lead your kids to have major anxiety, lack of experience in certain areas of life, adjustment, social, and behavioral issues, spoiled behavior, depression, and a lack of independence later in their lives.

Anxiety is one common issue related to overparenting. Some negative impacts associated with this include constantly having concerns and fearing things, over sensitive, unable to communicate, and many others. According to a study at Johns Hopkins University “found that controlling behaviors in mothers led to children who had fewer opportunities to develop the skills needed to make appropriate decisions. Without such opportunities, children believed that they were less competent, which triggered increases in anxiety levels” (“The Effects”).Children not developing the skills needed to make appropriate decisions is bad because it could lead to bad decision making later in their life.

Lacking life experiences such as common human mistakes can severely impact a child’s future. Children need to make mistakes! Adults need to make mistakes! Without them how would we learn life lessons? Parents who are overprotective don’t allow their kids to learn lessons on their own, ultimately hurting them for the future when they have to make big decisions on their own. This can result “in their having a black and white view of the world, a lack of sympathy for people in more difficult situations and generally a lack of awareness” (“How Overparenting”). Experiencing life is essential to learning. For example, you can research a place in the world, however, you won’t learn as much as you would if you could physically be in that place experiencing it first hand.

Adjustment, social, and behavioral issues are some more negative ways over parenting can affect kids. Difficulty adjusting is a big problem for kids whether it be college, new experiences, etc. Social issues are one of the biggest negatives when it comes to over parenting. Not being able to fully communicate with people will affect them all throughout their lives. Behavioral issues may include not sharing things or being uncomfortable with unfamiliar situations.

Another problem is spoiled behavior. This can often be overlooked, however, it is a major problem. Spoiling your children too much can lead to unrealistic expectations later in their lives.

Depression is a very serious effect that is common. In a survey “of 100,000 college students, the following percentages found themselves facing the following difficulties: 84% felt overwhelmed by responsibilities, 60.5% felt quite sad, 57% felt lonely, 51% felt anxious, and 4% considered suicide seriously at some point” (“Helicopter Parenting”). Children who are overparented and grow up with these common issues talked about above can lead to a very lonely, intimidating life, which leads to depression.

Lastly, a lack of independence can be an issue with controlling parents. Everybody is different, but parents sometimes don’t realize that and tend to try and form their kids into their shoes. That is not a good thing! Each person is different and everybody needs their own path. “Kids need to grow up with a sense of independence and responsibility in their life. Without those two things, kids won’t learn important life skills” (Reinarz).

In conclusion, helicopter parents have no idea the harm they are doing their kids. These negative effects are extremely important for parents to know, so that you will try your best to be a good, supportive, loving parent, but not one who unintentionally harms their kid/s by being overprotective.

Immigration by J.E

I am drawn to big problems and trying to find solutions to those problems. When seeking solutions, I try to focus on the cause rather than on the symptoms of the problem.  During my service trip to Nicaragua this past summer, I had an opportunity to live with locals where I helped build a preschool.  Being there, I came to understand more about the circumstances that actually lead to the decision to migrate to the U.S. and why people choose to leave their homes and families. This is also a problem for all of us. According to the US Homeland Security there are over 11 million immigrants in the US from central and South America. I realized that the proposed solutions we often hear from our politicians, on either side, do not address the cause behind the need for migration.  This makes me want to speak up and get involved.

This country was founded out of the need of many people seeking a better life, usually in face of severe circumstances.  The phenomenon of migration can be seen across nearly all forms of life where species have to relocate simply in order to survive. The majority of us come from an immigration background in one way or another with family fleeing lives that, may not seem sustainable. So then, why  now, as new immigrants are trying to come to the US from Latin America seeking the same opportunities that our families once sought,  are we not focused on the threats that are fueling their need to relocate?    Many gangs rule the streets and terrorize the locals into giving them money or forcing their kids into the gangs. According to the interview I had with Maria Lepure “The Mexican government is controlled by the Cartels.” According to an article by Jason Breslow between 2007 and 2014 more than 164,000 people were victims of homicide.  According to that same article this period of time was a period that accounts for some of the bloodiest years of the nation’s war against the drug cartels. Even when not in direct danger, those in poverty face a threat of a different kind.  I lived in a rural village in Nicaragua in a home with a dirt floor, no running water and just barely enough to meet daily needs.  My host family was able to get by, but others were not.  And when they don’t have enough, they often make the very difficult decision to leave. This was also shown in the book Enrique’s Journey By Sonia Nazario. In the book she says that Enrique would get beat up by the gangs because he didn’t want to join and because he would wear stuff from the US. This means sacrificing their close ties with family and friends, risking their lives and gambling with the little bit of money they do have to try to make a successful trip to the US where hopefully they will be able to start helping their family meet their needs.   The reality of life for many people in Latin America is one of just barely surviving.  Those who migrate north can see that if they were to stay, their survival is in question. People who are leaving these situations are truly desperate And when you are desperate you are willing to take risks and make sacrifices, some of which our own families made long ago but which, it seems, have been forgotten.

The question is, if the number of immigrants entering the US from Latin America is a problem, as many argue that it is, then what can be done to fix this?  Some propose closing the borders, creating greater barriers to illegal immigration or even building a wall to prevent them from entering.  How will  such barriers lessen the need for them to relocate? A wall will not make them less hungry or safer?  Others, often those on the other side of the political spectrum, propose to give those who have already entered illegally a “path to citizenship.”  How would that, however, affect the need for people to continue to leave?  Central America Is like a building on fire and people are jumping for their lives, taking great risk and making huge sacrifices to save themselves and their families. . The US government unfortunately isn’t trying to put the fire out.  In fact, putting out the “fire” doesn’t even seem to be a part of the conversation about illegal immigration,  no matter which side is discussing it. Why is that?  Is it because   the US benefits from cheap labor from Central Americans and we actually need some of these illegal immigrants?  Or, is it perhaps that it simply is not possible for the US to boost the economies of the countries from where the immigrants are coming? I don’t know the answer to those questions.  What I do know is that if there is going to be an answer that truly slows illegal immigration, we must find a way to eliminate what is driving people to leave, whether it be crime, violence or poverty.  It is a big problem that must be addressed in a variety of ways.

 

Bibliography

Breslow, Jason M. “FRONTLINE.” PBS. PBS, 27 July 2015. Web. 11 Dec. 2015.

Krogstad, Jens Manuel, and Jeffrey S. Passel. “5 Facts about Illegal Immigration in the U.S.” Pew qwerasdfzResearch Center RSS. PewResearch Center, 19 Nov. 2015. Web. 28 Dec. 2015.

Lepure, Maria. “Immigration Story.” Personal interview. 23 Nov. 2-15.

Nazario, Sonia. Enrique’s Journey. New York: Random House, 2006. Print.

United States. Department of Homeland Security. Yearbook of Immigration Statistics: 2013. qwerasdfzWashington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Office of Immigration Statistics, qwerasdfz2014.